I decided to do this segment because I have history in this area and believe that I can speak to it on many levels to prevent many of you from making the same mistakes I've made…. Having sex before marriage… and for many of you; having a lot of it.

If you've read my previous blogs you'll know a little about my history. If you haven't read them… well you should (lol). I don't want to really go back and explain it all. Bottom line is that I was heavy into having sex before marriage. It all started in college, but really before that, just being sexual but not having sex.

I'm going to start out with a simple statement: DON'T HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. There I said it. Yes many of you may stop reading, many of you will laugh, and many will disagree, but that's fine. You're reading my thoughts and opinions so obviously you want to hear what I have to say (lol). Now that I've been married for almost 6 months :) I've realized the important of sex, as well as understood what it's really meant for. Besides making babies, sex is meant to be something sacred, something precious, and something you share with this one person for the rest of your life. Sounds like a perfect fairy tale right? WRONG! It's supposed to be normal. But now everywhere you looks, sex is there. Commericials, TV, Radio, magazine, music, clothing, wherever you looks, you have no choice but to see it and for it to become a thought process in your brain.

Nowadays, sex is seen as something not so complicated anymore. It's just something you simply do these days. You get horny, you find a candidate, buy a condom, for many of you "drink a lot of drinks", and then sex the night away, to only wake up in the morning roll over and ask "What did I just do?" I don't care how long you've been having sex or how great you experiences have been, EVERYONE has rolled over and asked "What did I just do?" or my favorite "Why?????" (lol)

It sucks that the thought of just having sex with one person for a long time causes people to think twice about marriage. It gets to the point where people will choose to be promiscuous for the rest of their lives just because thinking about having sex with one person makes them unhappy… Crazy right? People think that sex with one person for the rest of your life is BORING. I realized as a married woman, it's only boring if you make it boring and keep it boring. Many of us decide to put the freak away after the first few months… but that's for another discussion :)

Sex before marriage almost destroyed who I was. I was laying down with men I didn't know who could've had diseases I didn't know about… thank Jesus for His covering blood. Sometimes sex can turn you into the person you never thought you could be. I swore I'd never have sex with anyone who I didn't like or know very well… until I had gotten out of control and lost my self worth, along with my standards. It took me looking at myself in the mirror, not recognizing myself to finally ask "Who are you?", and from that day, I was determined to get better. I was always looking for the best, most wonderful partner, and always ended up with little to nothing. I was always on this search, for what I thought was just a good release, but in reality it was a search for myself, trying to find the replacement pieces that I had lost along the way.

I don't care who you are, sex does not complete you nor make you whole. If it did, would you need to keep a different partner every few months, weeks, even days?

So this is just the beginning of my insight on sex before and in marriage.

Stay Tuned.

~The Mrs.